Rewind back to September 27th of 2021. Cody was diagnosed with cancer a couple weeks ago. Our Great Pyrenees mix was diagnosed with cancer the same week. Our 11 year old Great Dane had just died two weeks before that. Three weeks before that, we purchased and closed on our little ranch.
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” Kind of how I picture Satan flying around, buzzing and annoying our heads, coming at us with a 1-2-punch. BUT GOD!
You all know I’m pretty active on Instagram, sharing all the nonsense stuff I get myself into. Most of it, I have no idea what I’m doing but for the most part, I can figure it out with a little research and practice.
We purchase our first two horses post-ranch purchasing (what’s a ranch without some horses, right?) I have no idea what I’m doing, so I do a little googling, find a professional trainer, hire her to come teach me some stuff, then I get to work trying my hand at it. But I make sure to post it so everyone can watch how ridiculous I look. Mostly, it’s an accountability tactic. Thank you to all of those who reach out and ask for updates! Y’all keep me on my toes!
I’ve got Batman, our 2 year old 13 hh pony in the round pen. He’s never been handled by humans and he’s pretty fearful. He’s also 800 lbs (650 lbs at the time) so there’s a lot of motivation for me to not screw this up!
The theory is this: a horse has 2 sides of his brain; a reactive side, and a thinking side. A wild horse is all reactive. A trained horse has learned to build and use the thinking side. To teach a horse use the thinking side, you move his feet left, right, forward, and backward. The only time they are allowed to rest is when they stand and look at you with both eyes. If they glance away or get distracted, you move their feet again. Horses are innately lazy creatures and they seek rest, all the time. So resting is a big motivator for them!
Back in the round pen, Batman won’t let me put a halter on him because he’s using his reactive brain, so I shoo him off to get him moving to the left. Now, I need to move him to the right, so I’ll cut off his circle and point the other way to change his direction then chase his tail just enough to get him to move away. When I want him to stop, I give him the cue. If he stops and looks at me, he can rest and catch his breath, and he’s allowed to rest there as long as he keeps his eyes and focus on me.
I was pretty stoked when this theory played out so well so I shared it with my Instafamilia. Not long after that, a dear friend sent me a text message and said, “Maybe you’re Batman and God is reminding you to trust Him and let Him care for you?”
I was astonished! How perfectly did that fit with the story of our lives and the story of Batman?! I cried tears of comfort because God was so real and present in that moment.
Two hours later, the ding on my phone goes off with the Bible Verse of the Day:
You keep him in perfect peace who’s mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3
What. in. the. world!! Literally. As I am teaching Batman to find his rest and trust in me, God is teaching me that when I put my focus on Him, I will remain in perfect peace. Not somewhat peaceful, not a peace that comes and goes, but steady, unwavering, and dependable peace!
If I take my eyes off Him, I hustle, fatigue, and exude unnecessary energy If Batman would just stand and look at me, he can relax and be lazy! But the minute he thinks he can find better peace without me, I send him off.
“Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. She shall pursue her lovers but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but shall not find them. Then she shall say, ‘I will go and return to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now.’”
Hosea 2:6-7
When we think we know better, the Lord will often times send us off. “If you think you can find better, go ahead?” The Lord will put obstacles in our way and block us out from following a path that will not bring us the desire, peace, or comfort that we desperately need.
““Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.”
Hosea 2:14
And when we finally come to our senses and use our thinking brain, we will undoubtedly recognize Who our God is and were we can find rest. He will speak sweetly to us and welcome us with loving and open arms, confirming to us that He can be trusted. Our positive reinforcement is His peace.
Isaiah 26:3 took root in my heart that September day and opened my eyes to seeing my relationship with this herd in a whole new, life changing and perspective changing way. It also gave me the answer to my cry, “What’s next?” in regards to Cody’s cancer.
As only God can do, He was working through both of us and my first task at hand was to remember this: “I’m going to shake things up, and it’s going to get rocky, so I need you to keep your eyes on me.” Much like Peter when Jesus called him to walk on water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he was above the waters but the minute he began to notice his situation, the fear in him grew, and he began to sink.
Keep your eyes on me.
[…] As I look back at the breadcrumbs he left along my 2021 trail, I am 100% without a doubt, sold out that God was in this. He is for us. And while I was nervous and didn’t know which direction this season would go, I was more scared thinking about walking this path without Him. So I stepped out of the boat and kept my eyes on Him. […]